You’ve watched movies and you know your favourite actors and actresses can handle it. A breakup. But your life is no movie and your pain is real! Too real. Relationships and their demise have the power to derail a life and even career, because emotions can be too overwhelming to carry on with life as before. But there are efficient ways to face the time after a breakup so you can thrive again.
Prioritise Exercise
Getting yourself moving can help with so many aspects of post-breakup problems. And anyone can follow this tip, since there are so many exercise options to pick from. Are you a lone jogger or will group fitness classes Sydney gyms usually offer be more to your liking?
The benefits of exercise after a break include:
- Preventing the habit of sitting around, doing nothing, waiting for an ex to call.
- While exercising, you’re helping your body rid itself of tension and nervous energy brought on by the emotions of the breakup.
- Exercise leads to the release of endorphins, which is a natural way of helping yourself feel good—even happy.
Of course, you won’t feel like exercising if you’re feeling sad and lonely. This is why it’s important to pick an activity you would enjoy once you start doing it. Will it be reformer Pilates classes, yoga or a team sport? Do it once and the next time you’ll remember how the adrenaline helped you feel invigorated, motivating you to keep going.
Friends and Connections
Another tried and tested way to boost your feel-good levels is being surrounded by supportive people who love you. Chances are you didn’t see your friends or family as much while in the relationship, but be proactive and reach out. Quality friends will be there for you, even if you haven’t seen them in a while.
This network of support will help you process what has happened by listening to you and helping you see it objectively. Perhaps you realise something about yourself or the other person’s character that helps you make peace with that chapter of your life?
Also, you’ll have a need of connection after losing someone, and good friends can help make that need less overwhelming.
Realise You’re Allowed to Grieve
Although the person is still out there, you have lost them, and you’re allowed to grieve that loss. That’s how you’ll get through the breakup process in the best way possible. This could mean that you’ll go through the stages of grief and being conscious of this helps you make sense of changing emotions and thought patterns.
The stages are:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Make it All New
While going through these stages, it’s wise to implement change in your life. It’s risky to make life changing decisions while experiencing emotional trauma but change in certain areas of life can be good:
- Change décor in your home, so there are fewer visual reminders of moments you had with your ex in those spaces.
- Go for a tiny makeover, to boost your confidence that could have taken a knock (especially if you were dumped).
- Update social media profiles with recent photos of you. Leaving old photos in place could spark a memory of where the other person was when that photo was taken.
- Make new memories with friends, proving to yourself it’s possible to have a good time without your ex.
It’s also worth resuming hobbies you may have stopped because the relationship kept you busy pursuing your mutual interests.
All these tactics help you discover who you are as a single individual, not someone’s partner, helping you navigate your day-to-day with more confidence.
Set New Goals
While renewing parts of your life, take time to plan the future—your own future, not as part of a couple. Set new goals that are important enough to commit to and achieve. It could be a trip around the world or joining reformer Pilates classes to build strength in order to do a marathon you’ve always dreamt of completing.
An ex may not fit into or support those plans, so committing to it will help you stay on course and reduce the chance of you calling up your ex when feeling down.
Identify the Lessons
One way to feel better about a broken relationship is to realise that it wasn’t all for nothing. People easily feel it was time wasted but if you’ve learnt even just one lesson during that time, it’s a valuable chapter in your life.
This is where friends come in handy, because you may not be able to see the positive aspects at first. However, their feedback can help you see growth, how your strengths benefited your relationship or how your characteristics helped you get through the breakup. Becoming more aware of your characteristics can help you utilise them more in future relationships—another fact that should help you look ahead, instead of yearning for what was.
You can be happy again!
Don’t Go Back!
Lastly, do what’s necessary to ensure you don’t go back and start an unhealthy cycle of trying to make it work with an ex! For example, if you do go out and drink a bit more than usual, ask a friend to take your phone, so no drunk texting will be possible. And stop stalking him or her on social media!
You’ll be fine. Eventually.
